Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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