so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
