so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
