He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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