You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am one with the molecules
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize