she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
