Nicole vs. Life
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
