turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
