He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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