we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
