guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
