I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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