My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
