I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
