these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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