seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
