Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize