he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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