Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
