Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
