Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize