My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
