Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Do vagina's smell?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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