Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize