Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
