he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
