..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hippo gnu deer
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize