take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
