So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
