I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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