It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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