I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He has the fingertips of a God
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize