I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
