I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
