We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
