I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
