just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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