he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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