This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
