So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
