After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
