im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize