I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
