I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This girl is more easily done than said...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize