Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
