he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
