dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
