I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
