How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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