What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
