In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
