apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
