a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
