never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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