It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
