PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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