im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
