Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
