Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
