billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
