I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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