What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
