In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
